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She Died on a Monday

10 Feb

no medical image
In the seven years leading up to my daughter’s death, she suffered through hundreds of hospitalizations. I use the word “suffered” and I mean it. When I’d get the call from her husband in her distant city telling me she was once-again hospitalized, I’d do a quick survey of where we were in the week. Tuesday to Thursday = probably okay. Friday to Monday = disaster.

And now we have a new television show, entertainment, if you will, from the TNT network entitled “Monday Mornings” and penned by CNN’s top medical guy, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, which explores something all-too-many of us are all-too-familiar with: Medical mistakes.

My concern over the “entertainment value” of such a television show bumps up against relief. Real people with real lives and real families that love them die in real life versus now people will know some of the truth. The problem is that real people get lost in the drama of storytelling. My daughter is real. Our family is real. The loss is untenable always and in all ways.

As you watch this new program, I ask you to keep in mind that they will focus on one error at a time that results in a patient’s death but the truth is quite different. The errors come fast and furious, one atop the other, each moving the individual’s body further and further from its norm until, seven years later, no one can remember what the original problem was; nor can they find it. Instead, the medical collective has created so many new problems, it is virtually impossible to know or understand what they are dealing with today.

Amidst it all is a young, beautiful woman that trusted them to do their best for her. How tragic, then, for her to have to face the multitude of truths she must come to terms with on top of the outcome she must accept. Their “best” made her die. She backed the wrong horse. Their only interest now is to protect themselves.

If this new show turns out to be the type of entertainment you will consume, please remember that it presents nothing close to the truth. It has been sprinkled with just enough truth to make for a good and palatable story but not enough to frighten you and you should be frightened. Like most of you, there was a time I believed in the medical systems and structures put in place to protect me and mine. Having witnessed first-hand the depth of dysfunction in our health care system, I can tell you unequivocally, there is nothing healthy or caring within it. You will meet some fine people there, however, they are powerless and must comply completely in order to survive its political environment.

Should you choose to watch “Monday Mornings”, I can only hope that you will keep in mind that as you sit watching, real medical mistakes are happening. It is not fiction and the people experiencing it are not characters on a television show. They are loved ones. They are beautiful daughters. And they died on a Monday.

© Kim Reynolds 2013

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17 Comments

Posted by on February 10, 2013 in Where's My Kid?

 

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17 responses to “She Died on a Monday

  1. alesiablogs

    February 10, 2013 at 9:17 pm

    Amazing post.

     
    • wheresmykid

      February 10, 2013 at 9:35 pm

      Thank you for reading. I enjoyed yours very much.

       
      • alesiablogs

        February 10, 2013 at 10:51 pm

        do you have a link on your blog that i can read about what she died from? I am a retired RN and I had some mistakes in my care when I developed a brain tumor that were very frightening. I am planning a book about it all. I do share some on my blog. You can look under mixed genre

         
    • wheresmykid

      April 17, 2013 at 4:15 pm

      Thank you.

       
  2. tammiefowles

    February 11, 2013 at 8:18 am

    Kim, your writing so touches me…..

     
  3. Judy

    February 15, 2013 at 8:55 am

    Dear Kim,
    So sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. I consider the loss of my son to be an amputation of my soul. I write a lot about grief and found it to be very healing. Hang in there and keep writing – you have a lot to share and it will help others. 🙂

     
    • wheresmykid

      February 15, 2013 at 10:57 am

      Hi Judy,
      Thanks so much for that. My God, “amputation of my soul” – that really nails it. You’re right about the writing. It’s the only I know to do. Take care.
      Best,
      Kim

       
  4. westtxwriter

    July 5, 2013 at 12:01 pm

    Kim, I’ve been reading your posts, which are so heartfelt and well-written. Thank you for being willing to share your grief experience with others.
    Best to you,
    Beth

     
    • wheresmykid

      July 5, 2013 at 12:56 pm

      Thank you, Beth. Writing about her, telling others how I love her, is the only way I can express my feelings for her. Thanks for listening.
      Kim

       
  5. tersiaburger

    July 5, 2013 at 12:22 pm

    My daughter died 4027 days after an arrogant fool operated on her. She suffered excruciating pain and indignity every day of her remaining life! I eventually prayed for her suffering to end. I am going to reblog this – I will link it back to you.

     
  6. tersiaburger

    July 5, 2013 at 12:22 pm

    Reblogged this on tersia burger.

     
  7. tersiaburger

    July 5, 2013 at 12:28 pm

     
  8. dianasschwenk

    July 5, 2013 at 1:17 pm

    I come here via tersiaburger. I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

     
    • wheresmykid

      July 5, 2013 at 1:18 pm

      Thank you so much. I appreciate your kind thoughts.
      Kim

       
  9. bwcarey

    July 5, 2013 at 1:54 pm

    the certainty of death is the leveler of all, body dies, spirit lives on, and luckily, even in your grief you show the depth of love you held for your child. take comfort in the knowledge, that heaven is real, not a fictitious destination, evil is global and widespread, and God most high, is truly merciful, and even has unrelenting patience, but as you point out, this program of medical misadventures, is only heightening our fear of all things human. there is no such thing as perfect anything, but because we come to expect it, and because we have lawyers to argue for us, we turned what should have been a community exercise, into a global commodity. Personally, my life was saved late one night many years ago, in an old hick hospital, that was understaffed and didn’t have the expertise many lawyers would love to thrash for cash through. in the world of entertainment, like celebrity this and that, we just want to remain stuck to our seats, and because the producers know we are human, they milk it for as much emotion as possible, welcome to the new world.

     
  10. s blake callahan

    July 6, 2013 at 8:00 am

    i have worked in the medical field for years in the military most of the time. i had the same concerns you do about the new show. i will not be watching it. i hate to say it but it is cya for most medical professionals.

    please keep in mind that there are other’s in the field that care very much and do the best they can. that honor the oath of “do no harm.”

    i am genuinely sorry for your loss.

     
    • wheresmykid

      July 6, 2013 at 8:50 am

      Thanks so much for taking the time to both read and comment. Yes, there are many in the field with the best interests of others in mind. They are, unfortunately, often thwarted by the medical machine that employs them. Thanks for your thoughts.
      Kim

       

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